It’s Hard to Be Persistent When Dating

Photo via Kohlerphoto from Getty Images Signature

Though dating is supposed to be an exciting experience. As it’s the chance to socialize, meet new people and ultimately form beautiful connections. When people tend to ask me about dating, I always let out a BIG sigh because for me personally dating has been trash. 

It’s honestly not been going well because I’m not meeting the right people. And this sucks because I’m finally in a good place to date! I’m confident in my looks and personality which means I’m not afraid to put myself out there. Additionally, I’m more than happy to make the first move on dating apps plus conversing is a breeze. So, to constantly match with/ see profiles that are not up to my standards is disheartening. And it ultimately makes it hard to be persistent.

The Time Wasters

One particular group of people I commonly encounter on dating apps are those who I like to call Time Wasters. This group are full of people who are StIL fIGurInG oUt thEIr dAtINg GoAlS. Because Time Wasters essentially don’t know what they want; you won’t be able to have a successful relationship with them. Therefore, they’re a waste of your time. Hence the name.

Now, this group wouldn’t have been such a big deal if I was only seeing profiles like this once in a blue moon. As at least there are more people to match with who know exactly what they want. Howeverrr when every other goddamn person has ‘still figuring out my dating goals’ stated on their profile it’s a HUGE issue! As I now have less of a chance of matching with people who have similar dating goals to me.

Moreover, not only are these people time wasters but they clearly lack common sense. Like why go on a dating app, that is specifically designed to help you find a relationship, when you don’t even know what you want? Make it make sense!

The Uninterested

Apart from Time Wasters, another group of people who I unfortunately frequently encounter are those who I like to call The Uninterested. This group of people clearly don’t want to be on dating apps and are not interested in dating. However, for some strange reason, they still have an active profile. You can easily tell if someone is uninterested because of the LITTLE effort they put into curating their profile. In other words, their profile is dry as f*ck!

Even though The Uninterested are essentially time wasters, I put them in a different category because even the Time Wasters put more effort into their profiles 😅.

I find this group of people infuriating because, just like Time Wasters, their profiles are in abundance! Therefore, making it harder to find people who actually want healthy relationships. From my experience, I have noticed there are many men, specifically Cis-Het men whose profiles fit into The Uninterested category. Because the lack of effort put into their dating profiles (and dating in general) is disgraceful! And this honestly makes me want to give up and throw the whole app away!

Mini Break-Ups

Apart from my dating pool being a hot mess, it’s hard to be persistent when dating because of mini break-ups. It sucks to finally match with someone, or in my case people (listen I’m trying to live my best life and have fun😜) who initially you really like at the beginning. Only for you or them to end things because either one of us is not feeling it anymore.

I was in a situation where I had stopped talking to three people, at the same time! That was a depressing time for me because I went from a point where I had butterflies in my stomach. As well as my face lighting up when I saw their messages, to now where I don’t (and probably won’t) speak to these people again. Not to mention I didn’t get the relationship I desired in the end, so I have to keep looking 🙃.

Moreover, I get less excited when matching and talking to a new person. Because, based on past experiences, I am aware of the fact that this relationship could end early and not go anywhere.

Despite All the Mess I Still Have Hope!

Nevertheless, even though dating has mostly been difficult and disappointing…

I’m still going to persist!

And that’s honestly because the reward is too sweet to give up. A good relationship is a beautiful thing to experience. So, I’m taking full advantage of the position I’m in mentally, physically and financially and I’m going after what I want!

Apart from this, dating has been an educational experience. It has taught me what I will or will not tolerate. And I’m more aware of the people I need to AVOID. Moreover, it’s also strengthened my confidence in my personality and even my physical appearance. Because even though I haven’t met my ideal people yet, your girl still gets a lot of likes.

So, overall dating is unfortunately not as easy as I would’ve loved it to have been. But I am certain I will meet the people I desire and make great memories with them.


Chizoba Itabor is the Co-Editor-in-Chief of Dark Hues Magazine. She is also a content creator who runs her own self-titled lifestyle blog. Be sure to check out her social media platforms on Instagram, Pinterest, YouTube and her own blog


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